Mental Nine Line Blog

Unusual Hobbies of High Achievers: How to Truly Unwind

Sat, 07 Mar 2026 23:18:41 GMT

Who Am I Outside of My Career?

I’ve worked with a lot of people who have tried and failed at "self-help." All of them were intelligent, insightful, excellent problem solvers, and genuinely good peope. But there was a recurring theme of slight success with no longitudinal improvement. They weren't failing, but they weren't necessarily getting where they wanted to go either.

I've learned that effective stress management isn't about following a generic prescription. It’s about finding something that genuinely pulls you out of your high-pressure mindset and creates a new mental space. Sometimes, the more unusual the hobby, the more effective it is. When your day is filled with life-or-death decisions or multi-million dollar deals, you need an escape that is just as compelling, but in a completely different way. Accept that it may not be your "norm," and it may be a bit unconventional in comparison to past attempts.

For some, this might mean immersing themselves in a creative outlet like painting, writing, or playing music—activities that demand focus but engage a different part of the mind. For others, it might be something physical, like rock climbing, martial arts, or even gardening—something that connects them to the present moment through movement and touch. The key is to experiment and discover what resonates with you personally. The right escape doesn’t just numb the stress; it recharges you, restores your balance, and ultimately improves how you perform under pressure.

This isn't about finding another way to "optimize" your downtime. It's about finding an activity that lets you be a human being, not just a human doing. It’s about getting comfortable with being uncomfortable in a new and exciting arena.

Why Standard Relaxation Techniques Can Fail High-Achievers

Breathing does not work for everyone, including blog authors. People in demanding fields—surgeons, pilots, executives, first responders—operate at a level of intensity that most can't comprehend. My experience as a Combat Trauma Therapist showed me how life-or-death stakes make everything else seem small. When you’re used to that level of stimulation, trying to sit in a quiet room and focus on your breath can feel like torture. Your mind, trained to solve complex problems and anticipate threats, doesn’t just switch off. For those of you in the ADD realm, this is especially challenging. Even finding a color to focus on is a struggle, and may not feel natural. If that's the case...change it up.

As much as you think you're in control, you're not. At a certain point, the brain begins to crave the excitement of chemicals and pressure, even without your conscious awareness.

This is why many high performers are drawn to hobbies that demand their full attention. These activities aren't passive; they require focus, skill, and presence. They work because they replace the work-related stress with a different kind of challenge, one that is restorative instead of draining. One question to ask yourself is whether this hobby is meant to help you recharge or externalize energy.

Unconventional Hobbies and Their Hidden Benefits

Let’s look at some of the surprising ways high-achievers decompress. These aren't just quirks; they are intentional strategies for mental survival and peak performance.

The Focus of Beekeeping

Imagine a surgeon whose hands perform intricate, life-saving procedures under immense pressure. What does she do to unwind? She keeps bees. Beekeeping requires a calm, deliberate focus. The bees respond to your energy; if you are agitated, they become agitated. This fosters an active, not passive, state of mindfulness.

The process of inspecting a hive, checking on the queen, and harvesting honey demands your complete attention. It’s a sensory experience filled with the low hum of the hive and the sweet smell of beeswax. For someone whose job involves sterile environments and high-tech equipment, this connection to a natural, ancient process can be incredibly grounding. It’s a powerful reminder of a world that operates on a different rhythm, far from the beeping monitors of an ICU. If your HOA doesn't allow beekeeping, consider offering a financial donation and tug at some environmentally bleeding hearts.

The Vulnerability of Stand-Up Comedy

Now think about a CEO who commands boardrooms and makes decisions affecting thousands of employees. On weekends, he’s in a dimly lit club, microphone in hand, trying to make strangers laugh. Stand-up comedy is an exercise in extreme vulnerability. You write material, practice it, and then put it on display for immediate judgment. You will fail. You will bomb. You['ll have an aswesome stage name and grow as a person.

This is precisely why it’s so effective. In a corporate world where showing weakness can be a liability, stand-up forces you to embrace imperfection. It teaches you to read a room, adapt on the fly, and recover from failure in real-time. Learning to be okay with bombing on stage can make a tough quarterly review feel far less intimidating. It builds a unique kind of resilience and humility that is hard to find in a corner office.

The Flow State of Extreme Sports

Many pilots, military personnel, and emergency responders are drawn to extreme sports like rock climbing, kitesurfing, or backcountry skiing. These activities aren't about a death wish; they are about finding life. They induce a "flow state," a psychological concept where a person is fully immersed in an activity with energized focus and enjoyment.

I don't want to say the riskier the better, but...there's something to this concept.

When you’re calculating wind speed for a kitesurfing jump or finding your next handhold on a sheer cliff, your brain has no room for work stress. These hobbies require absolute presence. There is an immediate and tangible consequence for a lapse in concentration, which is a familiar feeling for those in high-stakes jobs. However, the risk is chosen and managed for the purpose of recreation, not professional duty. T his shifts the dynamic from pressure to passion, turning a high-stakes mindset into a source of exhilaration and renewal. Chaing the high in a very legal way...

The Art of Creating Something with Your Hands

I've seen executives find profound satisfaction in hobbies like woodworking, pottery, or blacksmithing. After a day spent in the abstract world of spreadsheets, strategies, and meetings, creating something tangible with your hands is deeply fulfilling. There is a primal satisfaction in taking raw materials—a block of wood, a lump of clay, a piece of steel—and shaping them into something new and useful.

These crafts demand patience and an acceptance of imperfection, which many of you despise. Your first dovetail joint won't be perfect. Your first pot will be lopsided. This process teaches a valuable lesson for the recovering perfectionist: progress over perfection. Just because you feel something isn't good enough doesn't make it true. The physical effort involved is also a release, a way to channel mental stress into productive physical work. The biggest challenge will be NOT QUITTING and making excuses that it's "not for me."

How to Find Your Own Unusual Hobby

So, how do you find the "beekeeping" or "stand-up comedy" that works for you? It starts with honest self-reflection. Ask yourself: if your life stayed the same as it is today, for the rest of your life, would you be okay with it? For 99% of the people I work with, the answer is a resounding no. They are so miserable that they are ready for change, even if it's uncomfortable.

Look Back to Your Childhood: What did you love to do before you had a career? Were you building models, writing stories, playing an instrument, or taking things apart just to see how they worked? Your childhood passions often hold a clue to what will bring you joy as an adult.
Identify Your "Stress Opposite": If your job is highly analytical and data-driven, look for something creative and intuitive. If your work is solitary, consider a team-based activity. If you sit at a desk all day, find something intensely physical. The goal is to engage a different part of your brain and body.
Embrace Being a Beginner: High-achievers are used to being experts. The thought of being a novice can be terrifying. But that’s the point. Give yourself permission to be terrible at something. The freedom from the pressure to excel is where the true release lies. Find joy in the process of learning, not just the outcome. Leave
Test Without Committing: You don't have to buy a full beekeeping suit to see if you like it. Take an introductory class. Go to an open mic night just to watch. Sign up for a one-day climbing course. Treat it like an experiment. If it doesn’t click, try something else. Remember, you’ve likely tried many other things that have failed before. This is no different, but the potential reward is immense.

The search for a stress-relieving hobby is deeply personal, and it's not necessarily something you can find on the internet or with an AI search tool. This is an exercise in finding what enables "disconnect" from you professional identity and reconnect with other parts of yourself. It's not about escaping your life, but about making your life richer, more balanced, and more resilient. The secret isn't in another self-help book; it's in a dusty workshop, on a windy coast, or in front of a wall of buzzing bees.

Retention Strategy: Why Appreciation Beats Salary

Sat, 07 Mar 2026 22:09:36 GMT

Retention problems? Is your strategy salary or appreciation?

I've sat across from surgeons, CEOs, and general superintendents who have everything on paper—the salary, the prestige, the office—yet they are miserable. They are burned out, resentful, and looking for the door. Why? Because we are fundamentally relational creatures. We can't buy our way out of a toxic culture, and we certainly can't pay someone enough to stop feeling invisible.

It is a hard truth I’ve had to learn in my own practice: people don't leave companies; they leave people. Specifically, they leave environments where they feel undervalued. According to The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace , a lack of appreciation is the number one reason people leave their jobs. It sounds simple, almost too simple for the complex, high-stakes worlds we inhabit. But if you think "soft skills" like gratitude don't have hard consequences, look at your turnover rates.

Here is why authentic appreciation is the most critical tool in your arsenal for keeping your best people.

Why Money isn't Enough to Keep Real Talent

1. It Drives Job Satisfaction Deeper Than a Paycheck

"I can't get no satisfaction..." once sung by the Rolling Stones, we now see this as a pervasive problem throughout the workforce. We often convince ourselves that the next bonus or pay bump will fix the morale issue, especially in hospitals and police departments. I’ve made that mistake myself, thinking a transactional reward could fix a relational deficit. It doesn't work. While fair pay is essential, it is rarely the thing that makes someone excited to wake up at 5:00 AM for a grueling shift.

A Boston Consulting Group published an interesting article entitled "Decoding Global Talent." They found that the top reason people enjoyed their work was "feeling appreciated." Financial compensation didn't even crack the top seven—it came in at number eight. When you validate someone's effort—not just their output, but who they are as a team member—you feed a psychological need that money cannot touch.

Now, this is 2014. In 2026, we have a new workforce and a new concept called "remote work" which means the opporutnities to appreciate our employees has changed drastically, and will continue to do so as the workforce corrects itself.

I recall working for the federal government and discussing appreciation. When I stated I'd rather have time off as a reward than a bonus, my boss abruptly said, "That'll change when your kids are in high school." Nah, that'll never change. My time is more vauable than money.

Tip: Don't wait for the annual review. Make it a habit to catch people doing something right in the moment. A specific, verbal acknowledgment ("I saw how you handled that crisis yesterday, and your calm demeanor kept the whole team grounded") is worth more than a generic plaque.

2. It is the Single Best Strategy for Retention

And there is no band-aid large enough to plug that bullet hole. The cost of replacing a high-level specialist or executive is astronomical, not just in dollars but in lost institutional knowledge and team stability. Take the cybersecurity industry as an example. Major corporations like L3Harris Lockhead Martin, and others lose top talent to big tech all the time. Why? Because at a certain point, money is well...money, and nothing more.

The data is staggering. A recent study by Gallup and Workhuman revealed that employees who receive meaningful recognition are 45% less likely to leave their jobs . Conversely, Appreciation at Work notes that 79% of employees who quit voluntarily cite a lack of appreciation as a key reason for walking away. I have seen this repeatedly with my clients: high performers will endure high stress, but they will not endure being taken for granted.

Tip: Audit your retention strategy. If it relies entirely on "golden handcuffs" (bonuses and vesting schedules), you are vulnerable. Start building "relational anchors" by ensuring every member of your team feels seen by leadership.

If you don't already know their families, you better act fast. You should know their children's names, have met their spouse, and hugged the dog. Your attention to the detail in their lives is invaluable. KNOW YOUR PEOPLE as much as they allow.

3. It Fortifies Team Collaboration

In high-pressure environments—whether that's an operating room or a boardroom—trust is the currency of survival. When appreciation is scarce, people hoard credit and deflect blame. It becomes a zero-sum game where "me" trumps "we."

However, when appreciation is modeled from the top down, it changes the ecosystem. It signals that we are on the same side. It reduces the fear of vulnerability because team members know their contributions are valued, not just criticized. This psychological safety allows for honest feedback and tighter collaboration during critical incidents.

Tip: Encourage peer-to-peer recognition. In your next briefing or meeting, open the floor for team members to acknowledge the support they received from a colleague. It shifts the focus from individual glory to collective success.

4. It Unlocks Higher Productivity

There is a pervasive myth in high-performance cultures that praise makes people soft or complacent. In my experience, the opposite is true. Disengagement is the enemy of productivity, and nothing creates disengagement faster than silence in the face of hard work.

According to Glassdoor, 81% of employees say they’re motivated to work harder when their boss shows appreciation[¹] . When we feel valued, we naturally want to invest more of ourselves into the work. It’s not about coddling; it’s about fuel. If you want peak performance under pressure, you have to fuel the engine.

Tip: Align your appreciation with the specific behaviors you want to see repeated. If you want innovation, praise the risk-taking (even if it failed). If you want resilience, praise the grit shown during a setback.

5. It Attracts the Best Talent

I cannot stress this enough, top-tier professionals talk. The medical community, the pilot's union, the executive circuit—these are small worlds. Your reputation as a leader precedes you. If you are known as a grinder who treats people like disposable assets, you will struggle to recruit quality talent, no matter what salary you offer. If you are able to recruit top talent, they won't stay...

A culture of appreciation is a magnet. It signals to prospective hires that this is a place where they can grow and thrive without sacrificing their self-worth. In a market where 31% of employees are engaged and the rest are "quiet quitting" ^[1] or actively looking, a culture of genuine respect is a massive competitive advantage.

Tip: During interviews, ask candidates how they prefer to be recognized. It shows you care about their motivation style immediately and sets the tone that this is a culture that values the individual.

I know this can feel uncomfortable. For many of us, especially men in stoic professions, expressing gratitude feels foreign or "soft." But growth requires being uncomfortable. You don't have to change your personality, but you do need to evolve your leadership style if you want to stop the bleeding.

Take a hard look at your team this week. Identify one person you haven't acknowledged recently, and tell them exactly why you value them. It might feel awkward at first, but the return on investment—for your retention, your culture, and your own peace of mind—is undeniable.

Chapman, G., & White, P. (2019). The 5 languages of appreciation in the workplace: Empowering organizations by encouraging people (2nd ed.). Northfield Publishing.

The Bottom Line

How to Vet an Executive Coach

Wed, 04 Feb 2026 02:56:21 GMT

How to Ensure Your Investment Yields Peak Performance

I’ll be the first to admit it: the coaching industry can feel like the Wild West, some coaches even admit it still is!. My clients often come to me after having been burned by well-meaning but unqualified individuals who promised the world and delivered nothing but platitudes. I remember sitting across from an enlisted warrant officer who told me his previous "executive coach" suggested he simply "manifest peace" during active combat scenarios (and flashbacks). I was stunned. That isn't just bad advice; for someone in his position, it’s dangerous. If this sounds like something you've heard from a "professional," you're in the right place.

If you are reading this, you are likely part of the demographic I see most often: high earners, high performers, and highly skeptical individuals who have tried self-help books and seminars and are still feeling stuck. You don't have time for fluff. You need ROI. You need someone who understands that your stress isn't just "busyness"—it's often critical, whether it involves millions of dollars or human lives.

This is why vetting your coach is non-negotiable. Specifically, looking for an International Coaching Federation (ICF) credential. It’s the difference between hiring a board-certified surgeon and someone who watched a few YouTube videos on anatomy. Here is how to navigate the vetting process to find a partner who can actually help you perform under pressure.

It is uncomfortable to admit, but people lie. In an unregulated industry, anyone can put "Executive Coach" in their LinkedIn bio. If you are going to invest your time and money—and more importantly, your vulnerability—you need to verify who you are talking to.

Fortunately, the ICF makes this easy.

Navigate to the International Coaching Federation website.
Look for the "Verify a Coach" or "Find a Coach" tool.
Enter the coach’s last name and email address if you have it.

If they don’t show up, ask them why. There might be a lapse in membership, or they might be claiming a credential they don't have. If it’s the latter, walk away immediately. If they are dishonest about their qualifications, they will not be honest with you when it matters mo

I often tell my clients that growth requires getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. You want a coach who will challenge you, not just cheerlead for you. When reviewing testimonials, don't just look for phrases like "She was so nice" or "I felt heard." While empathy is crucial, you need results.

Look for testimonials that speak to outcomes . Did the client navigate a successful career transition? Did they report lower anxiety during high-stakes projects? Did they recover from burnout?

Furthermore, look for testimonials from people in your arena. If you are an air traffic controller or a trauma surgeon, a testimonial from a creative freelance artist might not be relevant to your specific pressure points. You need to know that the coach understands the weight of the decisions you make every day.

Trust, But Verify: Checking Credentials and Reputation

When we talk about the ICF, we mean the global gold standard in coaching. To earn these letters behind their name, a coach must undergo rigorous training, log hundreds (or thousands) of hours, and adhere to a strict code of ethics—including confidentiality, which I know is paramount for you.

There are three levels, and understanding them helps you gauge the experience level of the professional you are considering hiring:

Associate Certified Coach (ACC): Think of this as the residency phase. They have completed 60+ hours of training and 100+ hours of coaching experience. They are competent, but they are still early in their journey.
Professional Certified Coach (PCC): This is the sweet spot for many. These coaches have 125+ hours of training and 500+ hours of experience. They have seen enough variety in human behavior to recognize patterns and navigate complex scenarios.
Master Certified Coach (MCC): The elite tier. These coaches have 200+ hours of training and a staggering 2,500+ hours of experience. They have dedicated their lives to the craft.

Does an MCC guarantee a perfect fit? No. I have flaws, and so does every other coach, regardless of rank. But these credentials guarantee a baseline of professional rigor that is essential when you are trusting someone with your career and mental resilience.

Understanding the Gold Standard: ICF Accreditation Levels

Interviewing Your Coach

Most qualified coaches offer a discovery call. Do not waste this opportunity. This isn't just them selling you a service; it is you hiring a critical partner for your mental performance.

Here are the hard questions I suggest you ask:

My experience as a trauma therapist taught me that instincts are rarely wrong. If something feels off during your vetting process, listen to your gut.If the coach states they've had CFOs as clients, ask about the industry and for how long.

Watch out for the "Guaranteed Fix." If a coach promises you will be stress-free in 30 days, run. Human behavior is complex and messy ("consistently inconstant," as I like to call it). Real resilience takes time.

Also, be wary of the "cookie-cutter" approach. If they try to shove you into a pre-packaged program without listening to the nuances of your industry or your specific burnout, they aren't coaching you; they are processing you. You are an individual, not a widget.

Handing Over the Keys

Choosing a coach is one of the most personal investments you can make. It is not about finding someone to tell you how to live—God knows you have enough people doing that already. It is about finding a trained, accredited professional who can help you clear the noise, find your own answers, and endure the pressure of your life without breaking.

When you do your due diligence and find an ICF-credentialed coach who aligns with your values, you aren't just buying a service. You are securing an ally in a world that rarely allows you to let your guard down.

If you are ready to stop guessing and start building real resilience, I invite you to reach out. Let’s have a frank, confidential conversation about where you are, where you want to be, and how we can get you there.